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masaya

          Preliminary Period is about to be over and so far, it's been filled with so many works despite the several times classes were suspended. It's already my third year, and I would want this year to be very fruitful. So far, these are the things I achieved or accomplished:

          1. I joined two organizations- UST-UNICEF Volunteers and JPMAP or the Junior Personnel Management Association of the Philippines (Membership Committee);

          >>> I really wanted to be active in these organizations. I do not want my work and studies to be somehow hindrances to do other works and at the same time meet a lot of people.  This is why I am really trying my best to give time and effort for the activities of these organizations.

          2. I was able to somehow adjust to my not-so-good work and class schedule;

          >>> Last month, I had a verbal warning from Sir Charles for forgetting to punch in my time card for work. That's why I already placed notes in my ID case and on my cellphone's reminder and also asked some friends and officemates to remind me not to forget to time-in! I'm quite happy right now because since then I didn't forget anymore to punch in my time card!

          3. I'm the current VP of our class!- hahaha..is this for real?!hahaha...  although this is not really an accomplishment, the fact that I really didn't expect nor thought of this to happen. Although this position does not demand so much effort and time from me, I'm so happy and thankful that somehow my classmates entrusted to me a position in our class officers.

          >>> Actually, the very busy officers are the president, secretary, and tje treasurer. Honestly, I am quite frustrated with myself. Because I've turned down Jai several times. I mean when she requests me or asks me if I could do this, etc. I just hope next time that she asks me to do something, I hope I could do it. 

        Anyway, got to go....   

masaya

                     Last June 12, I already started staying in my Tita Pina's place somewhere here in Sampaloc. It's somehow advantageous because its near school and I wouldn't have to spend much money just for my fare. I wouldn't feel so tired because of the traffic nor feel that I have little time left to do my school works. However, after a week of staying in my tita's crib, I still long to go home in Pasig. SIyempre tama yung sinabi nila na there's no place like home. Pero aside from that, I miss my family, my life, and Pasig itself so much. 

                      My Family, although we all have cellphones and the fact that I could contact most of them through a landline, its been a while that we haven't seen each other- escpecially my brother, Mon. Would you believe mag-2 months na kameng hindi nagkikita at nagkakausap kahit through SMS lang? Tae talaga e. Then it came into my mind na para na kameng broken family. Sobrang dalang ng communcation. We aren't able to update ourselves of what's going on with our lives. Para talagang may kanya-kanya na kameng mga buhay. I thought of this after we had an activity in our Group Dynamics Class. We were to defend if a broken family is still considered as a group or not? Our group was the only ones who answered that a broken family is considered as a group. My professor said that our arguments were mostly based on our experiences that we are consciously or unconsciously aware of that also made us go beyond the definition of a group the class had agreed on. Maybe most of us in our group just really value our families. (hehehehe....)

                     My life as a Pasigueña is one thing I missed so much. Dito kasi sa Sampaloc dapat school-bahay lang ako. My tita is very strict and she always believe that as a student I should have this school-house routine. E I'm not used to that kind of system. I mean, gusto ko rin namang magliwaliw. Baka mabaliw ako kung aral-trabaho-gawaing bahay lang ang buhay ko. That's why right now I do not feel like going home right after class/work. Because when I am in that house, I feel that my world is too small for me to move freely. It seems that every movement that I do should always be right, and that it should also be something that would please my tita. What's another frustrating is that I am having a hard time applying what I have learned as a behavioral science major. Hindi ko kasi masyadong ma-predict tita ko e. May mga taong ganun d b? Yung mahirap maunawaan o malaman yung mga reactions nila sa mga bagay-bagay. Kung ganito man sitwasyon ko, sana dala lang ito ng paninibago. Sana makapag-adapt agad ako at sana matutunan kong tanggapin yung sistema ng tita ko na isa sa mga taong tumutulong sa akin. 

                  Kaya Ness, steady ka lang. Tutal nandyan lang ang OCD at ang BESWAN. Magiging okey rin ikaw as an Official Manila Girl    

masaya

          Last night was one of the nights I will never forget. I went out with a cousin of mine. It was her birthday that's why even though it was already 9:30 in the evening, I still went out. We went in a place somewhere along in Shaw Blvd. We ordered a bucket of San Miguel Light and Spicy Squid as "pulutan." Before we really get intoxicated, we agreed that we will be home by 12 in the midnight. However, things we have agreed upon while still in a "matino" stage seemed to be forgetten by my cousin.

          At around 11:30, we both stand and left the table. Thinking that she wasn't able to forget what we agreed upon, I let her walked first. But suddenly, she stopped in the parking lot, looked for a spot and sat. Nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko: "Tae... patay. Hindi ako makakauwi ng 12 sa bahay."

          While I was walking towards her direction, I sudddenly heard as if someone is crying. Then, my cousin looked at me, and I saw her face speaking of the pain she is "trying" to let go. But this wasn't the first time I saw her act like this. She has experienced a lot of things already. I can say that she was able to experience things that are somehow "impossible" to happen. That's how her life is. Ika nga ng kapatid ko: "Daig pa ang pang-telenovela."

          At was already 12:30, and I was really getting so impatient. Because my mama was also calling me through my cellphone, while I was trying to convince my cousin to leave the place because some people are already looking at us. But she insist on staying there and letting me go already. But my conscience couldn't take it if I leave her in that kind of situation. So i just stayed. Well, to make the long story short, when an hour or so has passed, I already called her ex-boyfriend. I already asked for help. His ex-boyfriend was so kind so he did all his best to be patiently convince her to go home. After 30 minutes or so, he was able to convince her to go home. 

         I love my cousin so much. Actually, anyone who is a part of my life, I value them very much. However, after that night/morning, I felt that I was already exhausted- exhausted of always trying to understand her (I'm referring to this cousin I am talking about). Minsan pala, kahit gaano mo pinapahalagahan ang isang tao, kahit anong paraan ang gawin mo para makatulong sa kanya, hinding-hindi ito magiging sapat  upang mabawasan ang sakit na nararamdaman niya lalung-lalo na kung tungkol sa puso ang problema niya. Kahit binigay ko na ang lahat para makatulong sa kanya, hinding-hindi ito magiging sapat kung kulang pa ang binibigay niyang effort para tulungan ang sarili niya. After her ex and I dropped her to her house, I've decided not see her again. For the meantime. I need to "charge my batteries" so the next time we see each other, I have again the enough energy to understand her. This was the first time I felt exhausted trying to understand someone's situation. Is this something normal? Well, I just hope she'll understand me.